Over the weekend I have had lots of opportunity to update my friends and family with the news of our plan forward. I started off with my dad and then my best friend. They both asked me how I feel about the FET and both times my reply was that I was on the fence about it’s success.
If the FET doesn’t work we’ll go on to a fresh cycle, and I have noticed that I keep mentioning this to everyone. As if I have already decided that this FET is not going to work. This became more obvious to me after I had repeated the story a few times, and two other comments from a friend and my mom really made me think.
The first comment was from a fellow IF friend. I was telling her how I was sure that we would ‘win’ on the next two attempts. She smiled at me and corrected me by saying that I would not need the fresh cycle.
Then last night I was speaking to my mom on the phone, I was telling her about what this friend said and she totally agreed. She said “Well if you are going to be negative about it you may as well throw the embryo’s away and just do a fresh cycle” Her comment actually shocked me a little, but ultimately woke me up and helped me to realise – I need to be into this! I have to get off the fence.
Now, I’m not saying that I need to be ‘Miss positive-pants’. It’s more like I need to give this FET a chance. It doesn’t hurt to fall down the rabbit hole again and just let myself go. It will do me no harm. If I get a BFN, so what! I’ll be really upset and then I’ll move on.It’s not going to hurt me less if I was negative to start with.
So here I go, I’m going to give myself the permission to be positive.
I am going to give myself permission to be excited.
I’m going to believe!
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Believe believe believe… I’ve also been trying really hard to keep the hopes up this last cycle… I think we try and protect ourselves from the pain of failure by writing our chances off early on, so that the disappointment is less, but our bodies are clever buggers, they tune into our thoughts without a doubt. So, everytime I think about it, I just say to myself, it is so great that I’m going to have a positive beta this month. I know, sounds crazy, but hey, the pineapple and legs in the air and AI’s haven’t work, might as well try that!
Yay! Good for you, I will believe for you too
I\’m so glad, you know I think we go into FET way too lightly because we haven\’t seen THAT much success but the truth is that it CAN and DOES work so it deserves as much belief and positiveness as a fresh cycle.
I\’m with you all the way, I believe for you too!!
Hey Ginger
Ok, so I’m going to be controversial here, but my experience with IF has taught me that being positive or negative, believing or not believing makes no difference to the outcome of treatment and all it does is add a whole lot of additional pressure on us to try and force ourselves into a way of thinking.
In God’s book of life, the outcome of your FET (just like mine) has already been decided and know about of positivity of negativity will change that. You do whatever you need to do to get through, whether you have moments of positivity or negativity of days of believing and days of not believing, its totally fine either way, God’s plan for your life will unfold regardless.
This journey is so unbearabley difficult as it is without adding additional pressure to on ourselves.
All the best!!!
I have HOPE for both you and me!
xx
This is interesting because I am also not into my FET and counting on the next, fresh cycle to work.
Good luck on not needing that fresh cycle!
I hope you don’t need that 2nd attempt, either!
Good luck on this upcoming try!