Something Fun!

So the lovely Sharon tagged me ………………
Eight things I am looking forward to:
1. Being pregnant again. (Because it was the best!!!)
2. Being debt free ….soon.
3. Summer
4.Feeling 100% emotionally better.
5.Getting our queen sized bed.
6.Seeing my girl cousin on Saturday for a nice ‘girl cousin chat.’
7.All my Dubai candidates leaving for Dubai
8. Doing the extreme makeover on [...]

Inspiration.

Oprah’s show yesterday was on coping emotionally with the diagnosis of a terminal illness. I was really inspired by Fran Drescher’s take on this. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer.
I just love this quote.

Getting there….but where is there?

So an update on my emotional state is…..
After my last post I fell and I fell HARD and FAST.
I just could not stop crying and crying and crying….
I went home on Wednesday evening and CRIED. I got to work on Thursday, spent the morning looking at my computer screen and then….started the crying AGAIN.
I never [...]

A little better.

I feel better today.
I have no idea why but I don’t really care. I am just happy that I can smile.
Last night my cousin came over with curry and some wine. We chatted and chatted until all the wine was finished. The nice thing was that we didn’t chat too much about the miscarriage. Not [...]

A different type of pain

This pain is so new to me.
It takes my breath away even though I felt happy a minute ago.
It leaves me confused as I feel loss but I can’t explain what I have lost.
It’s lonely because it is so personal and specific.
It gushes out of you with no warning.
It squeezes your heart so so hard.
It [...]

My list of comforting things………

Fat bastard chardonnay.
My favourite wine. I think I’ll be sipping lots and lots of this over the next few weeks. It also goes best with a good friend or a really nice TV program.
Snuggling up to my husband under the covers (It’s not what you would think)
This is just heaven to me. My husband has [...]

So far

So it has been a week since I got the bad news……… I can honestly say that this is the most difficult thing I have had to deal with in my life so far. I have never felt such a deep sadness and such a strong emptyness. Nobody can heal these feelings. They need [...]

I am no longer pregnant….

So on Wednesday I decided that I would like to have the D&C. So it was arranged for Thursday.
The reason I chose to do this was because I just did not feel like dealing with the bleeding. And I am so glad I did because of the bleeding I experienced before I went into theatre.
Warning: [...]

The world can change in one day.

Yesterday I woke up smiling. I was so positive that I was going to see our baby’s heartbeat. I still had that slight doubt in my mind, but overall I had a good feeling.
Friday evening was miserable because I had some questionable spotting. But when it stopped on Saturday morning I put it out of [...]

That’s all folks!

No heartbeat!
Baby only measures five weeks!
Stop medication and let nature take it’s course.