Well, I can safely say that yesterday was one of the sadest days of my life. We had the beta first thing in the morning.
I knew from by the way we were called through that it was not good news.
136 from 111.
Dr J came up to talk to us and basically told us that there was a slim chance that this was a viable pregnancy. He said there was a very very small chance that one of the embryo’s were ‘bombing out’. But that was a very small chance. So we made the decision to stop all medication and let nature take it’s course. I have to have another beta tomorrow to check that my beta is going down…….
I hate that feeling of sitting in a doctors office and trying to keep your self together. We made it to the parking lot and then just hugged each other and cried. It is and was horrible.
The rest of the day was spent lying on the couch watching Friends. In between sleeping, crying and screening my birthday calls. All of my family are devastated and obviously we are.
How can you be given something so special just to have it taken away. I am so angry and hurt. Wierdly, I feel guilty for getting everyone so excited. I feel like I have let them down. I know that I haven’t when I think about it logically. But I still feel it. I feel like an idiot for getting so excited, for thinking that everything would be ok. But mostly I am so angry that I actually have to go through this. Have we not had six years of ENOUGH!!! Is it not time…..
One thing I do know is that I can’t stop, but I need time.
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Sian, my heart is aching for you. I’m so sad right now, I was so excited for you and I so hoped this was it for you.
I understand fully that you feel guilty, and foolish, I think that everyone who’s gone through something like this will know what you’re saying. Being exctited is part and parcel of getting a BFP.
I don’t know why things like this happen, its incomprehensible to me. It doesn’t make sense to be given something and then it gets taken away. I can’t think of any other instance in life where this happens.
Be kind to yourself in the coming weeks, and I pray that those closest to you and DJ will be gentle with you.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
oh hon, I’m sorry. It’s so unfair.
*hug*
I am so so sorry.
I hope that all of your other birthdays are fantastic, and that the one bad birthday is now out of the way.
It certainly should be time for you after 6 years, but sadly fairness is not part of the equation.
Take care.
i am so sorry!!!
hugs
xxx
I am so sorry sweetie, this is beyond shitty.
My thought, prayers and love are with both of you.
Big Hugs xxx
Hi Honey,
I am thinking of you today and am praying that the fact that your beta rose means that your baby is healthy and growing.
I cannot imagine the hell you are going through right now, but know that I am thinking of you. If you need anythign please just let me know.
xxx
Hi,
I am truly sad with you Ginger! But being excited with the news of a BFP is normal and natural!!
Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Lots of hugs.
I am so very sorry. You had such a promising first beta. I am shocked that it ended so quickly and so horribly.
I understand your feelings. I am thinking of you.