Comments on: My journey – the butterfly moments. http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/ Our journey through infertility and beyond. Thu, 24 Dec 2009 09:54:59 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Trace http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-60 Trace Sun, 27 Jul 2008 12:08:57 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-60 Here via ICLW. We are using donor sperm and if I do get pregnant we are planning on being open from the beginning. There are so many different types of families and we live in an urban area w/lots of said familes around us. Unlike me, my husband was not as comfortable w/the idea of being open and I was forced to give him an ultimatim in that if we weren't open I wanted to return to adoption (we were badly burned which is why we decided to try DI). It was such a difficult decision and I know my husband feels pain at the thought of not having a bio baby. Kinda ironic because I could care less about being pregnant or having a bio baby. I just want to be a mom. Here via ICLW. We are using donor sperm and if I do get pregnant we are planning on being open from the beginning. There are so many different types of families and we live in an urban area w/lots of said familes around us. Unlike me, my husband was not as comfortable w/the idea of being open and I was forced to give him an ultimatim in that if we weren’t open I wanted to return to adoption (we were badly burned which is why we decided to try DI). It was such a difficult decision and I know my husband feels pain at the thought of not having a bio baby. Kinda ironic because I could care less about being pregnant or having a bio baby. I just want to be a mom.

]]> By: HeidiM http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-47 HeidiM Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:57:47 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-47 Here from ICLW. Thanks for the insight into DEs. I may be needing to go that route myself soon, so good to hear about it from someone who has made peace with that beast! Here from ICLW. Thanks for the insight into DEs. I may be needing to go that route myself soon, so good to hear about it from someone who has made peace with that beast!

]]> By: Maritza http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-44 Maritza Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:17:38 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-44 A long and hard journey. And still going strong...DE and whot not! I can only but admire your resilience. A long and hard journey.

And still going strong…DE and whot not!

I can only but admire your resilience.

]]> By: Stella http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-42 Stella Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:19:32 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-42 I need to understand why nine months gesation matters so much to you and why you want anyone's child, not a childs from the partner you love. I need to understand why nine months gesation matters so much to you and why you want anyone’s child, not a childs from the partner you love.

]]> By: samcy http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-41 samcy Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:12:25 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-41 Thought provoking post Sian... Like the others have said, I also believe that how your child reacts to the news depends largely on how they are raised and how open your relationship is with them... Timing is also crucial, you can't tell them before they are old enough to understand it, but you also don't want to wait too long... *sigh* What matters most to me is that they know they are loved beyond genetic material and that they are the light of your lives - which I know your kids will know... Eagerly awaiting the next butterfly moment, the one that ends in a BFP and a healthy live baby :) Thought provoking post Sian… Like the others have said, I also believe that how your child reacts to the news depends largely on how they are raised and how open your relationship is with them… Timing is also crucial, you can’t tell them before they are old enough to understand it, but you also don’t want to wait too long… *sigh*

What matters most to me is that they know they are loved beyond genetic material and that they are the light of your lives – which I know your kids will know…

Eagerly awaiting the next butterfly moment, the one that ends in a BFP and a healthy live baby :)

]]> By: Kymberli http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-40 Kymberli Mon, 21 Jul 2008 22:05:02 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-40 I am a gestational surrogate and have been a part of the online surrogacy and egg donation community for several years. I've also seen rantings of children born through ED and surrogacy. I agree with Sharon's viewpoint - how the child is raised and his/her parents' timing of telling and when they tell makes all the difference. A close friend of mine has a daughter via IVF/ED and she has a completely open relationship with her donor. It's important to her that her daughter knows how she came to be right from the start. I'm not saying that's the right way to go for everyone, but it is another way to handle ED. I am a gestational surrogate and have been a part of the online surrogacy and egg donation community for several years. I’ve also seen rantings of children born through ED and surrogacy. I agree with Sharon’s viewpoint – how the child is raised and his/her parents’ timing of telling and when they tell makes all the difference. A close friend of mine has a daughter via IVF/ED and she has a completely open relationship with her donor. It’s important to her that her daughter knows how she came to be right from the start. I’m not saying that’s the right way to go for everyone, but it is another way to handle ED.

]]> By: nh http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-38 nh Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:21:59 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-38 Hello from ICLW. I afree too, how you deal with the facts is how your children learn to deal with it. If it was you would you rather know or find out accidently? Whatever they are your children, and the genetics don't really matter as to whether you love them or not. Hello from ICLW. I afree too, how you deal with the facts is how your children learn to deal with it. If it was you would you rather know or find out accidently? Whatever they are your children, and the genetics don’t really matter as to whether you love them or not.

]]> By: Amy http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-37 Amy Mon, 21 Jul 2008 20:07:41 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-37 It's amazing how the butterfly moments of our lives change; what we once feared, we now accept, only to be faced with new fears with more lasting impact. Hopefully one day we can accept those, and maybe even look back on them with detachment, or even fondness. I hope so anyway. I'm here from ICLW. It’s amazing how the butterfly moments of our lives change; what we once feared, we now accept, only to be faced with new fears with more lasting impact. Hopefully one day we can accept those, and maybe even look back on them with detachment, or even fondness. I hope so anyway.

I’m here from ICLW.

]]> By: Tiffanie http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-36 Tiffanie Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:00:11 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-36 here from ICLW - while we are ttc and will be doing IVF in the spring/summer of next year, i don't have any experience with the donor route either. i agree with the others though, how you raise the child and what you instill in them will have an impact on how well they accept things. here from ICLW –
while we are ttc and will be doing IVF in the spring/summer of next year, i don’t have any experience with the donor route either. i agree with the others though, how you raise the child and what you instill in them will have an impact on how well they accept things.

]]> By: Sharon http://skrambled.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/my-journey-the-butterfly-moments/#comment-34 Sharon Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:21:49 +0000 http://skrambled.wordpress.com/?p=18#comment-34 I agree with Jill, Sian. I truly believe its all in how the child is raised and from when the truth is told to them. Having been down the donor route myself, I know how tough this decision is. My DH was TOTALLY against telling the child and I worried about this approach a lot as in my heart I was concerned about what the recpercussions would be should they ever find out. I agree with Jill, Sian. I truly believe its all in how the child is raised and from when the truth is told to them. Having been down the donor route myself, I know how tough this decision is. My DH was TOTALLY against telling the child and I worried about this approach a lot as in my heart I was concerned about what the recpercussions would be should they ever find out.

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